Good Sexual Communication is vital to a Good Relationship. Sex Talk can be fun … it can be a source of intimacy in your relationship. Sex Talk can be difficult … especially if you and your partner have not been using this Communication Tool on a regular basis.

As with anything else, where Sexual Communication is concerned, “Practice makes perfect!” So, if you have been finding difficulty getting the words out, it is a sure sign that you and your partner need to do MUCH MORE of it!

For this section on Sexual Communication, the skill will be Better Listening. Here are your “3 Essential Tips to More Effective Listening”:

1. Be a Good Listener: This could be the hardest step of all! It requires that you hold your tongue — and your rebuttal — for later. This is IMPORTANT: As a good listener, it is crucial that you do NOT spend your listening-time framing your defense to statement(s) your partner is making.

Rather, while your partner is speaking, stay focused on what your partner is saying — so that you can really hear — and understand — the message your partner is delivering. One exercise to get better with this is to have the listener-partner reiterate what s/he understood the other partner to have said or requested.

2. Ask Your Partner Questions: In your role as listener, ask for clarification. Doing so helps her/him better explain the statements — or requests — s/he are making. This, in turn, assists you, the listener, later to be better able to accommodate those requests.

3. Keep Your Demeanor Loving and Caring: This point is vital to the positive outcome of your Sex Talk. Whatever you request as the Speaker, the request is better received and more-easily completed. Whatever clarification you seek as the Listener, your input is more seriously listened to and regarded.

Yes, it may be true that you and your partner have been having difficulty. Perhaps, you have been mis-communicating. Quite likely, both of you are frustrated. Remember to keep your priorities clear: This is the person you love! Be mindful to keep your words loving.

I encourage you to use these listening-tips over and over to create a more relaxed atmosphere of sex talk with your partner. This, in turn, can dramatically increase your mutual pleasure and satisfaction in all sexual communication.