Good Communication is an essential part of a Good Relationship. Talking about sex can be easy … or, it can be difficult. Sex talk can be easy when viewed as light, bantering play. Sex talk can be difficult when you see it as having the potential for risking embarrassment, rejection, and hurt feelings. Using some courage to speak with your partner about sexual issues can allow the two of you to enter an exciting new phase in your sexual relationship.

Here’s What to Do — 5 Keys for Partner Sex Talk:

1. Make Time for Sexual Communication: In the very-busy style of today’s couples, time together can become a rare commodity and time together for sex can become an even rarer commodity! With so many demands on your time, it can be habit to put your relationship last. This being the case, it is important to take time — outside of a sexual setting — to talk about your relationship.

2. Agree on a Time for Sex Talk: Be upfront with your partner — don’t just “spring” the topic on him/her. You might say, “I have something that I would like us to talk about that is very important to me. Is this a good time for you to sit down with me and talk?” If not, this would be the time to agree on a time to talk — “Would it work for you tonight after dinner?” — until you find a mutually-agreeable time.

3. Prioritize Sex Talk: When that time arrives, remind your partner, “It’s after dinner now and the dishes are done. Could we sit down now and talk?” Don’t try to cover too much at one time. Perhaps, you just discuss a couple of issues. Also, don’t try to cover other subjects; restrict your talking to sexual issues once you sit down. Then, before ending this discussion, agree on a time to continue the talk.

4. Get Comfortable with Sex Talk as a Subject of Conversation: It can be easy to get flustered and tongue-tied when it comes down to actually expressing yourself in explicit sexual language. If this happens to you, relax and breathe! You are, by far, NOT alone.

To help you out on this, take some time beforehand to think about what you want to say to your partner about sex. Rehearse ahead of time — yes, that’s right, practice until you are comfortable with the words and expressions. Familiarize yourself with the language. Say it aloud so that you can get comfortable with hearing YOURSELF saying the ideas you have in mind.

5. Know Your Feelings, Be Direct & Clear: If you have been feeling frustrated, try to be specific about what is truly bothering you. If possible, make specific, behavior requests: “I would like us to cuddle more often and for at least 15 minutes when we do.” Your partner cannot read your mind. If you want something specific, ask for it clearly, “I find it really exciting when you spend time pleasuring me.”

I encourage you to use these keys over and over to create a more relaxed atmosphere of sex talk with your partner. This, in turn, can dramatically increase your mutual pleasure and satisfaction in sexual interaction.